Foreigners feel out of place in the local festive atmosphere. It's like a forced marriage on the wedding night, where they don't want to appear cold but also feel awkward trying to be friendly. They keep wanting to look up at the sky because that's the only place without the atmosphere.
"As long as I get through this day, everything will calm down."
My mom called me, but I missed it. Luckily, I didn't answer. I haven't washed my hair or taken a shower, and the lights in my room are off. Empty bottles of alcohol are scattered everywhere. No matter how you look at it, it would make parents feel a bit heartbroken. Actually, it's just a stress response from being too busy lately. Many deadlines are approaching at once, and they are things that are difficult for me, so I have no motivation at all. Watching DWC makes me laugh to death, reading leisure books like Yoshitomo Nara's autobiography, listening to recordings of conversations with friends from over ten years ago. When I feel the deadline approaching little by little, I feel time flying over my head, and I feel that time has passed. And the atmosphere around me is so intimidatingly warm.
At this moment, it's safest not to be seen. Keep fighting!